in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
