It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
stop calling my apartment porn island.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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