she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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