I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
