well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
