It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
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Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
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I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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