Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Randomize
