That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
