using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize