hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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