I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
