I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
