My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
cat food counts as protein by the way
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
