Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize