You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
