Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
