Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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