The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
