she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just invented taco cereal.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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