We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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