i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
There r osticjed everywhere
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
