It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
