Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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