she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
