You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize