We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
