I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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