Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
