You just made me feel so damn special
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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