I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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