Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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