my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
