dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
