Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
