Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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