I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
