We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
