The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
