Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
