Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
