I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize