i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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