I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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