i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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