I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
