Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
