Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
