I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
