The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
