what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
this is an emotional support booty call
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
