i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it's like iHOP with fire
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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