The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
