the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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