it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
