Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
