i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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